Now i could truly say, "Been there,done that."

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

•  I know how it feels to spend years chasing your dreams and end up realizing it will always just be a dream. I maybe doing good in my job right now but this wasnt my dream.
• I know how it feels to be betrayed by a friend. Someone you trust so much with all your good intentions just to betrayed in the end.
• I know how it feels working for 64 hours like a horse and your papers will just be thrown in the trash bin in front of you. Yes! No matter how many good projects I have done, I've been through that.
• I know how it feels to be told in my face I'm not good and smart enough.
• I know how it feels to be duped financially. I have been so generous that people expect me to carry all their financial woes coz we hang-out everyday, and to save face they literally transfer their obligations to you and when its payback time they will just get mad and destroy you. Well God Bless you guys. Thank you for teaching me never to trust again.
• I know how it feels when your home is broken and you just wanna plan your whole day without including HOME in your itinerary. You just wanna face the reality that no one's home.
• I know how it feels to drink from after-lunch until the next morning coz you invested your whole saving to a venture that went to a flop!
•  I know how it feels to have 50pesos in your pocket and a cut-off post-paid plan.
• I know how it feels to be called the EX of so many guys, if their are days that we will have dinner together and watched movie with you..It doesn't mean we have something. And don't ego-tripped when I deny it, I have the right. I wont lie just to save your ego.
• I know how it feels to feel lost. Like your driving from tip to tip and nowhere to go, you just wanna find yourself.
• I know how it feels to smoke packs after packs just to calm your nerves.
• I know how it feels to drink vodka with your dinner, coz you consider it as your water, you just wanna be numb.
• I know how it feels when your family let you down but that what taught me to be strong and to be brave.
• I know how it feels to attend a burial of your love ones and not a single tear fell, coz your tear ducts have been drained out.
• I know how it feels to drive your car 150 and crash it hard.
  
• I know how it feels when people make up stories about you and you cant do anything about it and just wish they are all mute. Well what can you do its their passion!
• I know how it feels really feel that you still have sisters after decades of just seeing them and not feeling them.
• I know how it feels to feel so good that all your hard work paid-off! I know the feeling of depositing your first cash savings that was a product of sleepless nights, nerve-wracking risks, and a 10000000 tons of perspiration.
• I know how it feels when no one seems to believe or had faith that you could make it!
• I know how it feels when a family turned back on you. Same family names does not assure alliances for life,people has their own motives.
• I know how it feels to fight for the one you love, against all odds.
• I know how it feels to sit on a plane and your seatmate is staring at you pitifully coz tears streams down on your face like Dam door opened during a storm because you are leaving a place and left half of your soul there.
• I know how it feels to gain so much weight and everyone reminds you of it, you just don't wanna go out anymore.
• I know how it feels when you helped someone so much and the next thing you knew is he/she denied your existence.
• I know how it feels to visit his facebook/friendster account every quarter of the day coz thats the closest you could get.
• I know how it feels when people talk lowly about you and see you as a small individual just because you look plain and doesnt fulfill their appearance expectations not knowing that what they have achieved in life is just a 0.20 of what you had achieved, you just dont brag about it.
• I know how it feels to lose your long-time wish, miscarriage is  the worst thing that could happen to you, its not easy and it leaves you a permanent wreck in your self.
• I know how it feels to consume 3 hours of your therapist's time. One hour crying, One hour saying nothing and another hour just hugging her tight.
• I know how it feels to go to your hair salon everyday, have a haircut and all their treatments, get a massage everyday twice a day and shop till your CC got denied; coz you just feel so awful.
• I know how it feels to cry to sleep every night. Memories just kept flashing in your ceiling.
• I know how it feels to meet someone who taught you how to trust and love again but eventually made you realized too to tear permanently the word trust and love in your dictionary.
  
• I know how it feels to be so in love, to give everything your heart has to give. Straightened up your life and be the best for him.
• I know how it feels to be proposed on, that moment where your life was put on hold and every thing just feels so right, that you cul remember every detail of it for the rest of your life.
• I know how it feels when your whole heart crashed!!That you can trade half of your career just to saved it, and it feels worst if it crashed for the wrong reasons. After that you realized you left your heart with him forever, and could never take it back...
  

 

---I cant believe i went out all of this alive, it looks easy in this words but if you are  there with me throughout all of this you will break down  matter how tough you build your fortress around you.....my story will always be an ASH to PHOENIX story..---

 

 

at this young age I can always say "BEEN THERE, DONE THAT."